I’m still in hiding,
i don’t want to reveal the reality,the truth..
i want to run- run from prying eyes and sweet tongues,
i want to keep my head low to be unnoticeable
i want to meltdown and just stay until the outburst will calmdown….
..and by that time I can sleep and have my own time.
It’s been a crazy morning… Last night the rain pour heavily and the skies are too angry that the highways are not visible in distance.
I’m too lazy to wake up and I’ve been returning to bed just to curl and go to sleep but my mind keeps on racing and makes me awake that I have to go to work.So I keep my eyes open and bathe…
As I go to office I feel so rejuvenated and have it declare as “I love this day!” knowing we’re only two present… not until one the seniors came in, and makes me feel bad. Disappointed.
But well as life must goes on, and good vibes will takes place.. I just enjoy the remaining hours motivated at work..
And maybe that’s what I love for today-doing my first love with Love!
All I want to do right now is to go back to sleep and dream….and wake up in the midst of afternoon sun.
But I’m here in the four-corner of my office, sipping my Milo, hearing the tic-tac of morning rain and soon to battle the paperworks I have!
If I have to choose what will I do today, I will surely say– I wanna go home and stay in bed.
My Thursday syndrome bites me and all I want to do was to stare at my desktop, staring blankly on the report that I will prepare and randomly searching topics on the web that will keep me motivated… And since I haven’t found one to entertain myself, I just want to pour this emotion on my blog.
This week, I feel agitated. I was disturbed by the upcoming presence of someone. I expect this to happen and I prepare myself for this…but the idea of having him here is not still sink in my whole system. I’ve been denial since last year, since that day that “us” have been a viral item. I don’t know what’s within me. I don’t know what hormonal imbalance inside me that keeps on gnawing ev’ry bit of me, that leads to this kind of discomfort. Maybe I’m not mature yet to handle this kind of relationship or I’m just a typical reserved person. (If ever somebody read this who knows me better, for sure, they will rolled their eyes for a violent reaction, lol).
Well, I know I have no choice but to accept and live life more productive and unselfish. All I want is everything must be done accordingly.
Let it be done!
I’m still sleepy and lazy even after posting. =(
Why can’t we be?
Why can’t we be the two of us?
It’s so painful to know that even we’ve been apart for years now, you still occupying majority space in my heart. And knowing that you’re with that someone, I’ve been piercing in pain and can’t accept that I hurt you so much and lead us this way. You considered me strangers even we’re too close before. You build walls and left me hanging, assuming that we’re okay but obviously, we aren’t.
If I have one regret in life, that is — not taking the risk. And I hate it!
regret–bites me slowly to death!
I already make some modifications and customizations on my blog today.. I make it as simple as it is, to portray what’s within me.
And as I check my dashboard, I came across to my follower and I’ve got fourteen followers to date…and I want it more! =)
Looking forward to connect with you guys!
You never know how much I miss you… and even how denial am I, truth is, it feels lonely without having you here.
Please come home soon.